In case you missed the memo, I’ve started this new thing where I’m going to document all the funny, weird and or crazy shit that happens to me on an almost daily basis. This recent experience would definitely fall under weird, so here goes.
While driving home from work in a baby blizzard, I randomly decide I want some Wing Stop. Being that there’s one close to my crib, I make up my mind that I’m gonna make that move.
I pull up, walk inside and place my order, which is my usual six piece teriyaki, fries and ranch. The girl behind the counter, who happens to be like 7 or 8 months pregnant rings me up then says, “you come in here all the time”. I’m like “Yeah. I mess with this place. Plus it’s close to my house”. She then tells me I’m “smart for that” as well as informs me that that’s how she likes her men. Not seeing the point in her telling me that, I’m like “Oh word? My girl feels the same way”.
That’s when shit got weird.
“You ain’t got no girl”, she says. I tell her I do and then ask her what makes her think I don’t. Her answer, and I quote, was “keep it real. You come in here all the time. It was never about the chicken. You come in here to see me. You wanna ask me out, but you’re probably scared because of this”, as she points to her huge ass stomach.
At this point, I’m impatiently waiting for my food to get done so I can leave this chick’s presence. About 2 minutes later it’s ready. She hands me the bag and says “if you change your mind, you know where I work”.
Alright look… There are way too many things wrong here.
First off, you shouldn’t be trying to bag customers while you’re on the clock. Secondly, I’m off the market (and my chick cold). Finally, YOU’RE PREGNANT! If you’re trying to talk to me, that means you’re either being unfaithful to the father of your kid, or even worse, you’re pregnant with nobody to be faithful or unfaithful to!
I don’t know, man. I just hope my next trip to Wing Stop isn’t as awkward as this one was.
-CH-
